Synopsis of Wicked

WICKED!

SYNOPSIS

Dr Markus Zellmann, a man with his eye for the main chance, has persuaded General Southgate of the US Army to found the Southgate Foundation for the investigation of evil. The General is somewhat unbalanced, and much troubled by certain violent incidents in his earlier military career. He will soon be due for retirement, but until he does, the US Army are determined to protect the Army from scandal. They would love to close the Foundation down.

The Foundation is located in a large crumbling house near Oxford. The staff consists of Dr Markus Zellmann the Director, Alec Metcalf the Head of Research, and two advisors. Jessica Strong, the literary advisor, is a pleasant girl, very jolly, but rather naive. Monsignor Camuseau, the theological advisor, is an ex-priest with a bizarre past: his title did not come from the Vatican.

The central character of the narrative is Alec Metcalf. Alec is unspeakable. He has a complete lack of any sense of morality and thinks nothing of spying on the other occupants of the house. He rarely changes his underwear, dislikes baths, buys his clothes at Oxfam, and changes his bed sheets in a ritual passed down to him by his grandmother - top to bottom, and bottom in the wash. Except with Alec, bottom always finds its way back on top.

One of the more bizarre of the Foundation's experiments involves a 'spider room' where unsuspecting volunteers are tested for arachnophobia. Alec has become attached to Mr Beelzebub, a large bird-eating spider from South America, and following an incident in the spider room involving a can of insecticide, he decides Mr Beelzebub would be safer elsewhere. During the day he carries Mr Beelzebub around in the pocket of his old tweed jacket, and at night Mr Beelzebub is bedded down in a wastepaper basket in Alec's study.

The General is due to visit the Foundation, and Alec is expected to give a presentation on the progress of the research, but Alec has little idea of how to proceed. An attempt to elicit Jessica's help proves abortive - he and Jessica do not get along, initiated by Alec's unfortunate comments about her size.

Prior to General Southgate's visit, the US Army send in an audit team in the hope they will uncover enough malpractice to enable them to close the Foundation down. There is a lot to discover - a proportion of all funding provided by the General is being creamed off by one or other of Markus' dubious companies - the MZ group, motto, the people you can trust.

But both the audit and the presentation to the General are carried off successfully, although not without incident. Alec blots his copy-book when a hungry Mr Beelzebub mistakes the feathers on the hat of the General's wife for a bird. Normally Mr Beelzebub gets a steady, if rather boring, diet of tame white mice; a daily delivery from the local pet shop, which Alec checks meticulously for whiteness of eye and pinkness of nose - Mr Beelzebub's food must not be off.

However some very odd events occur which brings the Foundation to the attention of the Thames Valley police. A complaint is received that a small boy was locked in the spider room overnight, and this is hardly laid to rest when the police receive another complaint, this time concerning domestic cats found hanging on trees in the nearby wood. Events take an even nastier turn when Corporal Pinelli of the audit team turns up roasted to a turn after being tied up to the solid-fuel central heating boiler. Then a further death occurs when a crazed Monsignor Camuseau falls from the roof in the belief that he could fly.

Sergeant Graves of the Thames Valley Constabulary is convinced that the culprit is Alec - with good reason. We learn that the police have long suspected Alec of murdering a girl whose dismembered body was found in a municipal park.

Questions form in the mind of Sergeant Graves. Was the boy deliberately locked in the spider room? Who committed the atrocities to the cats? Who tied Corporal Pinelli to the central heating boiler? Did Monsignor Camuseau really fall, or was he pushed? And if Alec did dismember the girl in the park, where did he hide her head?

But Alec is as perplexed as Sergeant Graves. He knows nothing about Corporal Pinelli's death. And yet why does he keep getting these odd flashes of memory? How can he remember being on the basement stairs the night the Corporal died, but can remember nothing else? Is he slightly mad? Or could he be possessed? Was a diabolic universe really whirling around his head as he stood at the top of the fire escape when Monsignor Camuseau leaped to his death? Or was it simply vertigo?

Alec learns that Jessica had seen him near the scene of Corporal Pinelli's murder, and he intends to find out what else she knows. He starts the seduction of the unsuspecting Jessica - an arduous process involving everything Alec hates. Long walks on windy days, punting on the Cherwell, and spending his own money. But he grits his teeth and relentlessly pursues his target. Jessica, frustrated in love and possessing deep motherly impulses, is quite taken in.

Eventually the causes of the macabre events are unveiled, mostly proving to be more innocuous than they seemed at the time. The police are satisfied. Alec is off the hook and he has nothing more to worry about.

However Alec gets an unwelcome surprise when he discovers that the Foundation is being closed down and Markus has skipped with all the loot. He realises the truth. The Foundation was set up by the General for devious reasons of his own - but all the recent scandals have made the General have second thoughts. That night Alec's mind is full of thoughts of revenge.

The next day it is discovered that the General has met with a grisly end, having been bitten by Mr Beelzebub. Once again Sergeant Graves suspects Alec. But there is no evidence of foul play, and the General's death is declared an accident.

The manner in which Corporal Pinelli, General Southgate, and the girl in the park met their respective deaths is revealed in the last few chapters. It is up to the reader to decide whether Alec was really possessed by a demonic power or simply off his trolley. In any event, Alec is going to get away with it.

When Mr Beelzebub had bitten the General, Mr Beelzebub had been thrown off to smash violently against the floor. Alec had been extremely upset by Mr Beelzebub's death, but an unexpected discovery in a chest of drawers makes up for that. Mr Beelzebub had been a Mrs! And she had laid a sac full of spider eggs! Alec is overjoyed - soon a new crop of little Beelzebub's will be born into the world!

But there is one loose end left. In the last chapter, Alec and Jessica are walking in the wood, with Alec determined to break off the relationship. But he is finding it difficult. Whatever he say, Jessica doesn't get the message. The romantically inclined Jessica wants them to go away together for a holiday, a chance to get to know each other before they tie the knot - which is the last thing Alec intends to do.

But then Alec begins to suffer from odd feelings he experienced before. This is how he felt when Corporal Pinelli died... And when the girl was found dismembered in the park... Is the universe once more whirling around his head? Can he really speak all those forgotten tongues? And is that a noose he can see hanging from a tree? Has he been summoned from eternity to once more pursue his craft?

However, despite fears for Jessica's safety while she is in the wood with Alec, the book concludes with a happy ending. Alec and Jessica go off together, although Alec's final thoughts do not inspire total confidence.